Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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