He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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