You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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