He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
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