There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
