Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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