Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize