please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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