Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just got carded by a ten year old.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
