the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
