My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
So much rum. So many feels.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
