My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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