Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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