Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
