I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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