I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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