Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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