Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
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Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
The power of my boobs compel you
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