I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I just blew my weed a kiss
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
