best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
love makes seman taste better
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
