Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
