We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
