Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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