doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
