You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
