no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
