Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
