Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
