Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
