I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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