no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
