i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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