I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
