Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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