okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
