The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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