I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize