I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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