For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
