U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
