how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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