you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I enjoy the company of your penis
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
