Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
