Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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