I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
If I die, sorry about rent.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
