just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
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