thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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