Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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