He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
