I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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