My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
