I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
