Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
4 words: hood of his car
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
