Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
