he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I would fuck him just for his dog
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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