So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
