ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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